This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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