Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
