How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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