So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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