I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
