The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
