This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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