he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
