i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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