Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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