so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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