Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize