I got chris browned last night
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
