I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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