I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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