were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
