i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
