Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
