that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
