I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
