I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
