I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
