Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
