We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
