also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The best revenge is premature balding
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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