so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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