At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
