i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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