My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
