i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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