There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
