Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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