I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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