Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
