Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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