Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
