the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
