There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
