the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
