I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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