White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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