One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
