Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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