its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
