so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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