now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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