Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I love you. Go after that dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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