its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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