you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
