saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i believe in u and ur pee
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
