very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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