she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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