No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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