My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
