Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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