Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
