YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
