did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
