new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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