She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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