Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
