is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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