he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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