it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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