i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
