I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
