I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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