Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
