Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
